Watch any modern television show or movie and you will see men portrayed in a number of ways that are anything but what they should be, men. These versions of men are usually shallow and singularly minded. Now depending on the plot, these men may be self-focused, dim witted, short sighted, uncaring, chauvinistic, and on I could go. But even the “good guys” seem shallow and marginally relatable to an actual living breathing male.
Generally, I think there are several different views of what men are to be. Even if I say a loving man or a man of love, that imagery is still not necessarily what I am attempting to get at. We have to use different terms that better define what we are looking at to get a clearer picture of the contrast in worldview. And my main categories here are just that, worldviews.
Category 1: The Secular Man
We can break this category down into 2 main subcategories. We see these in much of our culture. These are displayed time and again on the most popular television sitcoms and movies.
Subcategory 1: The Brute Man
The Brute Man is best summed up in “big on brawn but light on brains.” You could also describe him as tall and muscular with an overbearing attitude. Physicality defines the mightiness of one’s manliness. The old football saying that football is a “man’s man” sport would define the Brute Man’s mentality. Men of this class can tear apart a car engine with ease and reassemble it, but cannot find their way around the kitchen, or know how to run the washing machine.
These men are intelligent men in the field of “manly” things, but are not suitable for home living. They are incapable of grocery shopping or other simple tasks like picking up the kids from school. The Brute Man can only handle so many tasks in a day and only tasks that are repetitive in nature and require little brain power and, of course, only to his liking. This is one of the versions that modern man has devolved into.
Subcategory 2: The Domiciled Man
The Domiciled Man is best summed up with the “yes man” adage. The Domiciled Man does not want to rock the boat, as it were, and so does as he is told no matter how he is treated. Sometimes he is rewarded for being obedient, but many times it is just expected behavior. Another way to describe this one is as a defeated dog. The dog still has that drive to be a dog, but when he hears the masters voice, all the fight in the dog melts away.
The Domiciled Man is also portrayed on television and in movies. He is usually a husband who wants to be the head of the house but is easily “put in his place” by the withholding of food or sex by his wife. The Domiciled Man tries in vain to hold his ground, to put his foot down. But inevitably, within days or sometimes within hours, he will cave, and usually to his own humiliation and to the laughter of everyone else. Many standup comedians use this approach; many sitcoms do the same thing. The Domiciled Man is what all Husbands turn into because of the power that their wives hold over them, through food and sex.
Category 2: The Biblical Man
The Biblical Man, as I have called him, differs from the Secular Man described above in one major characteristic; his love. The Biblical Man starts there, with the Bible, the Holy Scripture, the special revelation from God Himself. And we are image bearers of God. Therefore, we are to love as He loved. But before I get into all that let me say this: God is not a God OF love. He IS love, but He is also grace, mercy, goodness, and righteousness. We must not forget that He is a God of judgment, a God of wrath, and He is holy, and one day He will deal with unrepentant sinners. My point here is that we can only love because He first loved us, 1 John 3:16-18:
16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
Verse 16 is the key verse here. We can only know love because He loved us, we see His example, and should seek to follow it. This means to sacrifice for one another, and not specifically and only speaking of the ultimate sacrifice, but any type of service rendered to a Brother or Sister in Christ. Verse 17 is an example in how we might live it out, and verse 18 is encouragement that we must go beyond intentions and thoughts.
The Biblical Man is motivated by love to sacrifice for the well-being of others. He has that love because that love has been placed in him since the Spirit of Christ – the Holy Spirit – resides in him. We must be motivated by love. The love I am referring to is the love that Jesus Christ demonstrated by leaving the throne of heaven, by living a sorrow-filled life, and by dying on a cross. This was not an emotional love, the feeling love, that motivated Him. No, this was a love that interfered in the lives of those who needed His intervention. He loved others so much that He stopped and interjected Himself and His love, grace, and mercy into their lives. Vast contrast from what so many are demanding we do today in the name of love. But, men, how are we to love others? If we are married, we are told very clearly in Ephesians 5:25-29:
“25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.”
Now, obviously there is a tremendous amount that we could unpack here. And in context, Paul is writing about what Christ accomplished for the universal foundation of the church on this side of glory. But marriage is to be a picture of this. The love and devotion of the husband in the marriage union is to be a picture of what Christ accomplished and the continual relationship between the church and Jesus Christ.
Husbands, love your wives sacrificially. I know it is difficult, but we are not talking about ‘me’ time. Men are to be leaders and servants. You are to demonstrate what it takes to run the house by running the house. You are to demonstrate unselfish love by loving unselfishly, and “me” time is by definition, selfish. If we look at the meaning of the word husband a little bit, we can get a better understanding of the responsibilities that we have.
Husband is related to the Latin word we get husbandry from and it speaks to the care and cultivation of gardens or crops. This is the care and cultivation of our wives, continuing to bring her up spiritually. It means to defend her spiritually, to keeping the weeds and pests and the vermin out that would destroy and eat away at the roots or prevent her from blossoming fully. This, of course, does not mean that our wives are less valuable than we are, but that they are less than what they can be. Since men are to be the head and the example, we must be spiritually sound ourselves. You cannot be a leader in something unless you are knowledgeable. It is just that simple, and simple acts can mean a world of difference to your wives.
Verse 28 and 29 speak to how we men are to treat, cherish, and nurture our wives. It is how we would cherish and nurture our own bodies. We are to (and if it were possible) present our wives blameless and spotless before the True and Just Judge. That means our wives must know sound Biblical doctrine and we must teach it, we must live it, and we definitely must exemplify it.
But a man is not to start demonstrating a selfless love only when he gets married. He should be doing that long beforehand. Those that are not yet married are to conduct themselves as if preparing for marriage by keeping themselves pure before a Holy God. They should also be learning what they can in how to be a man of God, and what it takes to exemplify the love of Christ to his bride day in and day out. For those of us who are married, let me pause and echo the Apostle Paul and exhort all of us to excel still more in that selfless love to our wives, children, and folks that we interact with every day. Now, obviously as married men we should not be showing the same type and devoted love that we have for our wives to just anyone. But we are to still show that selfless love. How do we do that? Let me call you back to 1 John 3:17, “But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?”
It is a simple act of a phone call to check in and see how others are doing, or getting together for lunch. Help out a brother or sister with chores around the home when they are unable. A demonstration of our love for one another does not require us to go to great lengths. A word of encouragement and stopping by to pray with one another is a great way of demonstrating that we love one another.
A man of God is known because he loves the Lord and he loves His people. John 13:35 says that, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” Let your love be known in your marriage, in your homes, and in your places of work. But in order to love as Christ loves, you must not leave out Christ. Jesus must be the center and the reason for your love. You must communicate Him by preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to those that need to hear the true gospel, repent, believe, and be saved.
One of the greatest ways to love one another is to be involved in one another’s lives. Help with chores and provide for needs, but knowing what is going on in the lives of the Brethren means that you are connected. Pray for one another, communicate, confess sin to one another, be a community of believers working through the sanctification process – daily working toward the ultimate goal of becoming more Christlike. We do not become more like Christ by ourselves. We need the Word of God, we need the work of the Spirit, we need one another, and we need men of God who love.
Iron Striking Iron 
Thanks for the good reminders
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